Hullo, this is Julia again!
 How are you all?
 Whoever you are - you have emotions!!
And that's not always an easy thing. Many of us are governed by our emotions. We get upset by something and we feel miserable for the rest of the day!
Why is that you may ask yourself? Why am I feeling bad all day after that argument with my husband, boyfriend or person I share a flat with.
Well along with emotions come thoughts.

Let's take an example:

Say I have breakfast with my boyfriend or girlfriend, we're in a hurry, have to get to work, or class or walk the dog or feed the baby. So we're in the kitchen preparing breakfast, making coffee etc. Then all of a sudden one of us speaks a little harshly to the other e.g. Why do you leave all the things all over the cupboard and there's no room left for me to put the coffee mugs and pot? Cant' you put things away when you've finished with them?
Well that can be enough sometimes to start something BIG!!!!! The other person reacts angrily saying we're just as bad at that as they are. Then we react with something else, like: You're just like your Mother (or Father).
Okay - so now we have a situation but we both have to leave for work, so its left up in the air and a bad feeling between us. Off we go to work, and on the way we start thinking - yes there we have it- we start THINKING- saying all sorts of things like: He doesnt really love me or he wouldnt say things like that. Or: she is such an unkind person I cant believe I married her!!
And so the thinking goes on , all day whenever we have a few minutes.
And so the emotions continue and can escalate and change to other emotions, the anger can turn to sadness, or depression.

I have struggled with these kinds of scenarios all my life until fairly recently,

Now I do several things when the above kind of situation occurs:

1. I shut my mouth! yes I SHUT MY MOUTH! (very helpful to practice this and as soon as possible!)
2. I leave the room if I have time and BREATHE.
3. I do a quick little forgiveness in my head:
Dear ...... Please forgive me for all the hurt and harm I have ever caused you and I forgive you for any hurt or harm you have ever caused me. I love you.
4. Then I am already feeling a lot better and if I do feel up to it I will go back to the kitchen and say directly to the other person: Im sorry for my part in this argument. Please forgive me. I love you.
5. If I dont feel better I will need to do further work which I will share with you next time. 
And I will talk about how to deal with the feelings you may still have as you walk down the street after the argument.

I hope you find this blog useful and helpful. I love you all. Julia